Monday, December 15, 2003

A costly predicament

Dear Dave,

How do I buy £280 worth of Christmas presents for just £12.37?


Overspent of Hertfordshire

Dear Overspent,

You are in a bit of a dilemma, aren't you? Do you disappoint your loved ones or put your life in the hands of the credit company? Not a very appealing choice, I'm sure. Still, there are things that can be done. I can see three possible solutions to your predicament:

1. Teach your greedy kids/girlfriend/mother-in-law what the real meaning of Christmas is. That it's nothing to do with the giving and receiving of expensive presents and everything to do with peace, love and kindness. Then buy them each a Chocolate Orange.

2. Go to your nearest charity shop, buy a whole load of cheap clothes and pass them off as the latest fashions as seen in that mecca of outlet stores, The Hatfield Galleria. It'll work like a charm.

3. Sod them all, buy yourself the largest bottle of brandy you can find and start drinking it on Christmas Eve. By the time they come to open their presents on Christams Day, you'll be so bladdered that you won't really care what they say to you.

I hope you find my advice helpful. Have a merry (hic!) Christmas and don't sober up before New Year.


No comments: